Growing Up
by Sarga
Summary: Naraku defeated, Kagome realizes that half-demon Inuyasha will always remain the boy she met, timelessly unageing. Kagome must choose between letting him go and staying by his side. Can he forgive her if she goes? Can she forgive herself if she stays?
1. Realizations

**Growing Up**

_By Sarga_

Written June to November 2008

Posted November 6, 2008

_Description: Naraku defeated, Kagome realizes that half-demon Inuyasha will always remain the boy she met, timelessly unageing. Kagome must choose between letting him go and staying by his side. Can he forgive her if she goes? Can she forgive herself if she stays?_

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_**Chapter 1 – Realizations**

Kagome turned her face upward, her eyes closed, as she basked in the sun's warmth. In a couple of hours Inuyasha would be taking her to see Sango, Miroku and their family at the rebuilt demon slayer village. Shippo, who had chosen to live with and 'protect' the couple as they rebuilt a community of demon slayers, was enjoying the stability that his new home provided. Kagome was content in the knowledge that he would be safe there, able to grow surrounded by friends and family.

Ever since Naraku had been destroyed and the Jewel of Four Souls reformed, Kagome, Inuyasha and, for a time, Sango, Miroku and Shippo had spent their days pursuing lesser demons who had emerged from hiding upon hearing of Naraku's ultimate demise.

It was only when Sango, cheeks red and eyes downcast, had announced that she was pregnant that the group dynamic had changed. Miroku, no longer forced to hide his desire for the woman he loved, became more obviously protective. Shippo, seeing a loving, stable (or as stable as he had seen in a while, at least) relationship, had taken to hovering around the pair like a mother hen protecting her chicks.

Making the hard decision to move back to her home village for the duration of her pregnancy, Sango had been surprised to find that her friends were so willing to join her. Of course she had expected the companionship of her lover and the father of her future child, however when even Inuyasha had stayed to help her patch up her dilapidated home she had been overjoyed. For seven months the group stayed at the village, Miroku and Inuyasha or Inuyasha and Kagome making day-long or week-long excursions to nearby communities to eliminate demon attackers.

Kagome smiled softly, thinking of the three years that had passed since the birth of their first child. Of course Inuyasha had grown restless after being cooped up in one place for so long (even if he did make frequent trips to slaughter nearby demons) and had inevitably left, forcing Kagome to choose between remaining with her friends or following after her heart's desire. She had followed Inuyasha, as she always knew she would, but it had not been an easy journey.

Shaking her head of the less pleasant thoughts, Kagome's smile was renewed and she lowered her face and opened her eyes. Standing from her seated position, Kagome rose and began to pack her things into her fraying but intact yellow backpack. She poured water over the remaining embers of the previous night's fire, stirring it through absent-mindedly with a stick. Things had changed so much since she had turned fifteen six years earlier. So much had changed except for the well, Shippo's youthful exuberance and Inuyasha. That last thought made Kagome's frown return.

Inuyasha.

He had not changed, not one iota, since the death of Naraku. No, it seemed that all growth, both physical and emotional was stunted. He was still the teenage half demon with trust issues, still the same boy she had met those years ago, with the same hopeless desire for the once again deceased Kikyo. Kagome, however, was not the same girl. Indeed she was a woman, and no matter how hard she tried to look at it from another angle, she always came up with the same observation. She was getting older and he was not.

Kagome's thoughts were forced into painful places as she revisited thoughts of her ageing self. Sure she was still young and vibrant, but how long until she would be unable to keep up with him? How long until she was physically limited by bones that were no longer resilient in their youth. The average life expectancy in this time was, what, her mid-forties? She was already middle age here and no closer to obtaining the affections of her heart's desire. Every day that passed reminded her painfully of how much further she was moving away from being able to attract his loving attention. The dark thoughts seemed to be driving her toward a mid-life crisis, although perhaps not the same type she had come to expect from her own era.

Kagome's melancholy was cut short at the sound of rustling branches above and she let the recurring thoughts slide from her head yet again. Smiling brilliantly, Kagome greeted her half demon companion.

"You got everything, wench?" Inuyasha demanded roughly.

Nodding her head in ascent, the pair began their daily ritual. Kagome climbed onto Inuyasha's back and he took flight. She made intermittent comments on the beautiful scenery, a grunt or huff his only reply. Eventually they came to a village and Inuyasha landed downwind on the outskirts, taking a deep breath before deciding whether to accompany Kagome within the borders of the village. Admiring the view of the forest as she waited for his assessment of the safety of the area, Kagome was relieved to find him wave her onward.

"You go ahead, I'll get us some lunch," Inuyasha dismissed her, meaning the area was safe and she would have a few hours to barter in the village for items that would do for Sango and Miroku's gifts.

Pleased to find a bustling village teaming with laughter, children and life, Kagome found the perfect gift to accompany her modern selections. She chose for the pair a bolt of durable yet colourful cloth, haggling down the price until both herself and the vendor were satisfied. That was added to her modern offerings of an all-metal butane lighter for those stubborn cold nights when the fire just wouldn't catch, chocolate to occupy the children, kitty treats for Kirara, a ten-kilogram bag of rice for the village (Inuyasha had protested that one, arguing that she was slow enough without all that extra baggage, but they had reached a compromise whereby he carried the supplies and she went on foot without complaint) and, of course, some 'ninja snacks' for her warriors.

Leaving the village with more to add to their heavy load, Kagome was grateful that the slayer's village was only a half a day's journey on foot, meaning if Inuyasha got impatient, it would only take an hour or two as the dog-demon flew. Inuyasha grunted in mock disgust at her overloaded form, slinging some of the more unwieldy items across the impossibly balanced pile on his back.

"What do ya think, that we're hoarding for the winter?"

It was the only complaint he made, mostly just out of habit, and Kagome was again left to her own thoughts as they proceeded in amiable silence. The pair followed a well-traveled path for about an hour before branching off of the path into a seemingly dense undergrowth of shrub and roots. While it appeared impassible, it was actually quite the opposite, foliage forming an intimidating-looking path much like a stairway, reinforced to hold the weight of several humans without mishap. Continuing past the 'barrier' for another few hours, Kagome was thrilled to spot the evident cooking fires of Sango's village in the distance. Kagome's grin widened as she approached and it was all she could do not to break out in a run once she saw the village's high wall. The only thing that stopped her was the thought of the town guards who were very good shots and under the standing order to shoot intruders on sight without warning.

As the pair neared the front gate, Kagome was thrilled to see Sango run out to meet her. Or at least, Sango was running as fast as a six-month pregnant woman could run – it seemed she and the monk had once again been busy in her absence. Kagome's heart felt a small pang of jealousy for the family Sango had, but she quickly pushed it aside in favour of a joyful reunion with her sister-in-arms.

Pushing past the blubbering females, Inuyasha presented Kagome's gifts without preamble, dropping them in the monk's arms by way of greeting.

"Kagome got this for you. She got some other stuff in her pack too, dunno what though." His simple message dispatched, Inuyasha retreated to one of the guard towers, relieving the human of his post as he took up watch in his place.

"Lady Kagome, it is a great pleasure to see you in our presence once more. It would honour us greatly if you would stay these next months to oversee the birth of our next child." Miroku bowed formally as he requested her aid, not as a friend but as a healer priestess. Her knowledge of the birthing process had greatly eased Sango's labour pains the first time.

Kagome bowed back in response, no longer fearing the wandering hand of her Monk friend – he had had that tendency beaten out of him once he found he could grope his beloved whenever he desired... so long as they were in private. She assented to his request, knowing that Inuyasha would make a token protest but would leave her be until after the birth. It would be much the same as last time, she was sure, with Inuyasha disappearing for a few days at a time only to return with demon skins, claws, talons and teeth for the village to use to forge new weaponry and armour.

Much the same as it always was with Inuyasha.

Kagome sighed wearily as she headed to her 'home', one reserved for her early on in the village's rebuilding efforts. Kagome had chosen the building nearest to Sango's. Seeing as it was the smallest and that she used it so infrequently, it had become a storehouse of sorts for the village. While there were indeed a lot of stored items in the hut, it still had plenty of room for herself and Inuyasha. Despite the villagers association with Sango, Inuyasha still refused to sleep in the open among them; demon slayers, it seemed, put the half demon on edge.

Kagome entered her 'home', placing her pack in its own special corner and began to rifle through for the gifts. Pulling each item out and placing it carefully in front of her, she made sure everything was in place before she took the lighter, kitty treats and most of the chocolate to her friend in her home.

Knocking on the door frame as she entered, Kagome was thrilled to see Sango look positively radiant.

"I'm so glad to see you again, Kagome. It's been too long. Sit! Tell me about what's been going on these past months." Sango waggled her eyebrows suggestively – a trick she picked up from the monk no doubt – and caused Kagome to blush furiously before returning a melancholy frown.

"Absolutely nothing," Kagome dead-panned and it hurt her more than she thought it would to admit out loud. Kagome had spoken of her feelings to her friend and confidante, but even Sango's advice on the mating habits of higher demons did nothing to clear the way toward her ultimate goal. A rogue tear escaped, trailing down her cheek before it was angrily swiped away.

"I... I've been thinking a lot about it actually," Kagome sighed. "That's why I wanted to come here. I didn't know you were pregnant," Kagome paused, giving her almost-sister a genuine smile. "Congratulations, by the way. You two must be keeping pretty busy." Kagome laughed as she saw her friend turn a shade darker than normal.

"It hasn't been easy to find time, but we manage."

Kagome burst out laughing at her friend's blunt statement, almost forgetting the cause of her sorrow... almost.

After a time, Kagome's mood again faltered and she was left to face the truth of her thoughts over the past months. She would have to make a decision. Stay, knowing that Inuyasha would always be out of her reach, or leave and provide herself with the possibility of starting her own family in the future. Either way she would be lacking in some key aspect of her life.

Kagome expressed her thoughts to Sango, keeping her voice as low as she could for fear of prying ears.

"I tried talking to him about it, but we always end up arguing." Kagome averted her eyes as she admitted the embarrassment. "Last time, I sat him and ended up going home for a week. I'm going to give it one more shot," Kagome took a shaky breath before stating her decision aloud. "If he can't provide me with what I need, then I'm going to leave and seal the well behind me."

Sango, her eyes wide, whispered her support, despite the loss she would incur from her sister moving on with her life elsewhere.

Trying to lighten both of their heavy hearts, Kagome forced herself into a cheerful smile.

"Of course I'll stay for your birth," she chirped.

Her consolation, however, made them both feel a little more hollow than expected, knowing it would be only a few short months before Kagome would be with her heart's desire or out of their lives forever.

Somehow, both suspected she wouldn't be around come winter.

. . . . . . . . . .

To Be Continued...

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_Please read and review_

_~Sarga_


	2. Confrontations

**Growing Up  
**_By Sarga_

Written June to November 2008  
Posted November 7, 2008

_Description: Naraku defeated, Kagome realizes that half-demon Inuyasha will always remain the boy she met, timelessly unageing. Kagome must choose between letting him go and staying by his side. Can he forgive her if she goes? Can she forgive herself if she stays?

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_**Chapter 2 – Confrontations**

"Inuyasha!" Kagome, impatient with his avoidance of her, snapped at him in an effort to draw him from his perch on the guard tower above.

Growling his displeasure, Inuyasha jumped down, knowing full well the inevitable course of action should he not cooperate – a swift journey to the ground followed by several seconds of immobility.

"Get on with it, _wench_," Inuyasha muttered, crouching low to the ground in preparation to spring back up as soon as her disruption was at an end.

Eye twitching in annoyance, Kagome had to remind herself not to let his childish attitude disrupt her for once. She had a mission to complete and by golly she would complete it!

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, Kagome tried to calm herself.

"Inuyasha," she breathed out as calmly as possible.

Inuyasha stared back blankly.

"We have to talk," Kagome began, motioning for him to follow her out of the village.

Standing tall, Inuyasha narrowed his eyes as he crossed his arms defiantly across his chest.

"Nuh-uh, wench. I'm not falling for that. The only times you wanna talk I either end up eating dirt or rescuing some human from a pissed off demon. Not happenin'!" His emphatic gestures made Kagome forget her oath to remain calm. "No way am I answering the beck and call of some weak human wench!" He should have known better than to anger the woman who controlled a subjugation spell.

Eyes widening a fraction as his subduer drew in a breath, Inuyasha decided to fall to the ground of his own accord before she activated the spell.

The extra half inch didn't do much to soften the impact.

. . . . . . . . . .

Three times Kagome had approached Inuyasha and three times they had ended up separated; twice by 'sit' commands and once by a legitimate call for him to defend the village. Sango was about ready to bust and Kagome knew deep down that Inuyasha wouldn't change his outlook in the weeks to come. In resignation, she prepared herself to make the most of these last few days with her friends.

Sango, the only one who knew of Kagome's plans, made a subtle effort to get Inuyasha and her to spend more time together in romantic settings. Unfortunately, between the gaggle of children showing up at random intervals and Miroku's oblivious insinuations making things a little too awkward for Inuyasha (because, honestly, Kagome would not have minded), the attempts seemed to make him more surly than if he had been left alone.

Finally the day of Sango's delivery came and Kagome, true to her word, used all of her knowledge to their advantage. It wasn't a easy delivery by modern standards, but the child and mother were both alive and well, something that not all births could boast in that era. For three days, Kagome basked in the glow of the new addition to her surrogate family drinking in as much of their love as she could. On the fourth day she was resolute. It was the day Kagome was determined to confront Inuyasha about her feelings. She refused to leave without at least telling him that much.

Even before she opened her mouth Kagome knew Inuyasha was in a black mood, but for what, she was unsure.

"What is it, wench?" Inuyasha grunted distractedly, eyes scanning the tree-line as they walked the outside perimeter of the demon-slayer's fence.

"_Wench, huh?_" Kagome muttered, knowing this attempt would probably be as fruitless as all the others. Inuyasha's sharp ears caught her words and he turned sharply to her, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Yeah, wench, I said 'wench'. What of it?" Inuyasha was challenging her and Kagome was so frustrated she was almost willing to forget her purpose and sit him... but not quite.

"Kami, Inuyasha would you shut up and listen for once?!"

Inuyasha was surprised, his eyes widening slightly before narrowing dangerously. Kagome was frustrated but not so frustrated that she was willing to sit him. He wasn't one to knowingly provoke her, but he also wasn't one to take it lying down...

Seeing that Inuyasha was willing to give her uninterrupted time to speak, Kagome lost some of her anger, leaving just enough in her to stave off the anxiety that might have been present otherwise.

"I'm leaving, Inuyasha," Kagome began, trying to be bluntly honest, her heart hammering unpleasantly in her chest.

"Feh, you have been here a long time wench. Go then." Inuyasha looked unperturbed and Kagome knew it wasn't because he didn't care, it was because he thought she was coming back.

"No Inuyasha, I'm _leaving_. As in 'not coming back'. I... You can't give me what I need Inuyasha, and it's killing me, so I have to go."

"Wha..." Inuyasha looked like he had the wind knocked out of him as he almost physically staggered under the weight of her statement. Then he did what he was known best for – Inuyasha got angry.

"Like hell I'm going to let you go through alone, bitch! You go back and I'm fucking going with you until you decide to make sense!"

"You're so damned childish! Would you just contemplate growing up for two minutes?!"

Kagome panted lightly, shaking with the exertion of not fleeing like a scared rabbit. Here she was laying it on the line and he had the gall to be... well, _himself_. She wasn't sure which was worse, his immediate childish temper tantrum or that look he was getting as if some great enlightenment was dawning on him.

"_Grow up, huh_..." Inuyasha muttered under his breath before stalking toward her with a foreign light in his eyes. Pushing her up against the demon slayer's fence he brought his face next to hers, his nose nuzzling her cheek as he inhaled her scent, eyes dark and distinctly _not_ childlike. "And just what is it you think you 'need', Kagome?" the words were whispered, a taunt of sorts – he had obviously figured that out, but was offering her one last chance to back away.

Kagome dove right ahead.

Speaking without words, Kagome boldly captured his lips with her own, her eyes watching hesitantly as his own first widened, then drooped heavy lidded as he responded in kind. His half-closed eyes burned their gaze into her very being and Kagome was on fire. There was no hesitance, no doubt that he saw her and her alone. Allowing her eyes to drift shut, Kagome wrapped her arms around Inuyasha's neck.

Satisfied growls pulsed through Inuyasha's body and into her own, the woman in his arms gasping as he pushed further toward her, the sensations overwhelming for both parties. Only in her wildest dreams had Kagome even hoped that he would be willing and able to love her like she craved, like she absolutely _needed_. She was so dazed, she barely even noticed as he leaned them both away from the wall, wrapped his arms around her and jumped into the sheltered tree-line, but not before she heard the distinct snicker of the peeping toms from one of the above guard towers.

'Let them laugh,' Kagome dismissed them with a sigh. She was finally where she belonged.

. . . . . . . . . .

Kagome awoke the next morning feeling slightly sore but none the worse for wear. She was sure she would have scars from the bite and scratch marks he had left behind, but otherwise she was fine. More than fine, really. Kagome felt marvellous! Rolling on her side, Kagome sighed as she felt the protective cloth of the fire rat beneath her and she wrapped an arm around a distinctly smug half-demon.

"Who's childish now?" Inuyasha teased.

Kagome felt her heart drop in a decidedly unpleasant way at the combination of his cocky words and entirely too righteous demeanour. Sitting up, she tried to calm her suddenly-heavy heart as she searched for her clothing – groaning at the sight of her skirt (ripped in an unwearable fashion) hanging from the low branch of a nearby tree. Glancing around, she noticed all of her things scattered in a very obvious manner, nothing hidden, nothing lying on the ground. Almost as if he had done it on purpose...

"Um... Inuyasha?"

"Yeah, wench?"

"What am I supposed to wear?" Kagome was definitely not going to go back naked and she was pretty sure he wasn't going to let her stay in the forest alone, even for the length of time it would take for him to go to the hut and get her a change of clothing.

"You're sittin' on it." Again Inuyasha was entirely too smug, his whole manner screaming 'I told ya so'.

"Ah," Kagome turned almost as red as the haori she was supposed to wear – she had worn it once, when she had been rescued from that evil sage in Togenkyo, she could do it again... even if it meant the guards would see her half naked walking out of the forest after having spent the night alone with Inuyasha...

Kagome turned even redder as Inuyasha shifted, already pulling on his own clothing nearby.

Tying the arms around herself in a makeshift belt, Kagome took deep breaths to try to calm down and blend a little less seamlessly with her new clothing – lobster-red was not a healthy skin colour.

Pausing to gather her courage to confront the village guards, resolved not to be embarrassed about what should have happened a long time ago, Kagome missed the twinkle in Inuyasha's eyes right before he pounced. With a squeal, Kagome found herself suddenly in the air as Inuyasha leaped unseen through the forest and over the village wall. Only a blur to the human eye, Inuyasha rocketed forward until they were in 'their' hut. Kagome giggled softly as she was placed once again on her feet. Seeing her smile, Inuyasha blushed lightly.

"Keh, like hell I was gonna let that wimpy wolf see you _now_!"

Kagome lost her smile, confusion marring her features.

"Wha...?"

"I could smell the fucker nearby. This time I'm going to end him for good. There's no _way_ he's ever gonna touch you again. You're _mine_!" Inuyasha looked like a spoiled child with a new toy and Kagome was speechless as she watched him reach for his haori – which she was wearing.

Tight-lipped and still mute, Kagome wrenched the tied arms apart and proffered the protective clothing with slightly shaking hands. He gave an appreciative smirk at her naked form before donning her offering.

"Don't worry, Kagome. If I know that stinking wolf, it'll be over before it starts." Inuyasha mistook her trembling limbs as fear, not what it actually was – anger. "Stay put, wench, I'll be back soon."

With a light kiss on her forehead, Inuyasha headed back to the wall, jumping over it as easily as he had to get in.

Kagome was left fuming and naked. Moving to her pack, Kagome hauled out the only things she absolutely needed to bring back with her – clothing and her camera. Nestling her camera safely in the pocket of her fresh sweater, Kagome wrote a quick note for Sango reading:

"_Sango,_

_I told Inuyasha what I needed from him in order for me to stay and he proved to me just how truly he can't give it. Tell him why when he calms down, he wouldn't listen to me._

_I'm sorry I had to leave this way, but it's for the better... it has to be..._

_Tell Miroku 'thanks' for his help with my training._

_Keep Shippo safe._

_I love you all and I'll miss you so much._

_Have a long and happy life._

_All my love,_

_Kagome"_

Kagome couldn't help the tears that had formed as she signed her name, feeling the loss already. But she knew with all her heart that she had to leave. Inuyasha had taken everything she had to offer and it still wasn't enough to keep him from being so immature. Instead, he was gone on some pissing match with her as a metre-stick. Kagome was getting angrier the more she thought about it.

Slipping out of the door in the early morning light, Kagome placed the note just inside the door of Sango and Miroku's hut, using a small rock to hold it in place. Motioning to Kirara who had been roused by her intrusion, she watched as the fire-cat plodded soundlessly toward her second mistress and jumped to her shoulder. Making her way toward the gate, Kagome nodded at the guard and he looked a little confused before allowing her to pass. Whispering her need to Kirara, Kagome watched the fire-cat transform one final time before she mounted.

With sure feet Kirara took to the air, leading Kagome on the last journey she would ever take in the feudal era.

. . . . . . . . . .

Two days after Kagome's departure, Inuyasha returned in the pre-dawn morning, several large bruises and a nasty cut that looked like it was partially healed adorned his face. Knowing Inuyasha and Koga, it had been much, much worse when it had happened.

Attempting to scent out Kagome, Inuyasha was startled to find that her scent was cold, meaning she was nowhere to be found. Thinking little of the absence, only that she was overdue for a visit home, he went to their shared hut and frowned at the large yellow pack that lay in haphazardly in its usual spot. Even when she was angry Kagome always brought that monstrosity with her to bring back supplies. Inuyasha knew she would be angry, but she must have been _furious_...

Resigning himself to some much-needed rest, Inuyasha decided to lie down and chase after her when he had healed a little more. She could use a few days to cool off anyway. Instead of a quiet nap and a warm welcome, however, Inuyasha was torn out of his sleep by a ripping feeling at his ear. Jolting awake at the painful sensation, Inuyasha swiped at the offender gnawing ferociously at his ear.

"What the hell are you doing, brat!" Inuyasha growled in warning as the fox-demon child made a running leap from where he had been thrown at the wall.

"You made her leave!" Shippo accused angrily, his fury greater than any time Inuyasha had ever seen it.

"Fuck you, Shippo. The wolf had it commin', so there's no way this is my fault!" Standing defiantly, Inuyasha was prepared to teach the twerp a lesson until he saw just how haggard the youth looked. "What do you mean, she left?" He demanded in a small voice, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

"She's gone. Forever. Said she couldn't stay any more. You made her leave, I just _know_ it!" The child launched an attack that was momentarily undefended as the message sank in. Inuyasha began to realize that maybe things were not going to go back to normal with a couple of 'sit's and a warm bath. Had she left him like she said she would, even after they had...?

"When?" Inuyasha demanded, his stance changing as he allowed the child to latch onto his arm.

"Day before yesterday, you're too late to stop her, she's gone..." at that the child collapsed in a heap of tears, no longer looking for vengeance.

Hearing the commotion, Miroku, in an attempt to allow his wife to sleep as long as possible, made the journey to the neighbouring hut to quiet things down.

"Inuyasha," the monk caught the attention of the half-demon just as he was about to pummel the living daylights out of the prone demon child. "Perhaps you would like to reconsider your course of action. It is never fitting to kill the bearer of bad news."

Inuyasha ignored the child on the floor before stomping past Miroku out of the hut. Miroku followed, leaving the whimpering kit inside. This was a conversation they had to have. Inuyasha was not going to take the news lightly.

"Walk with me, Inuyasha. I feel the need for some fresh forest air on this good morning." Miroku inwardly hoped they would be far enough away for Inuyasha's indignant yells to not wake Sango or the children. When they had left through the very gate that Kagome had stood in front of two mornings earlier, Miroku began the arduous task of breaking the news to Inuyasha.

"I understand Kagome spoke with you before you left, ne?"

Inwardly, Inuyasha cringed. 'Spoke...! Just what did the wench say before she left?' Outwardly, he was as gruff as ever. "Keh, what of it?"

"And you just let her go?"

"Let her... Fuck no, I told her to fucking stay."

Miroku looked appraisingly at Inuyasha.

"And did you phrase it quite so elegantly, then?"

Inuyasha mumbled some choice words under his breath. Was the monk _trying_ to be obtuse?

"Look, she was mad because I had to get rid of the stinking wolf now that we're..." Inuyasha didn't know how to express what had happened between them so he changed approaches mid-sentence. "...I had to get rid of him once and for all. He ain't gonna get his stinking hands on _my_ Kagome ever again."

Miroku didn't miss Inuyasha's abrupt change of course and he was left to contemplate the meaning of Kagome's departure. On the one hand Inuyasha was positive Kagome would come back. On the other, he and Sango were quite sure she wouldn't. Whatever had happened between the pair had been interpreted entirely differently by both of them. Changing his approach, Miroku tried an indirect query after a few moments of walking in silence.

"So, tell me, Inuyasha, are we to expect any quarter-demons running around any time soon?"

Not so indirect after all.

By the silence where he expected shouts and pummelling, Miroku knew he had hit the mark, much to his own shock. Turning to his silent friend Miroku found Inuyasha agape with a look of abject horror.

"I didn't... She seemed... Kami, what if she is? And I just let her go home..." Inuyasha tensed as his senses were on high alert, scanning for danger in the vicinity even though he knew Kagome was far beyond the reach of any nearby threats. "I have to go after her now!"

"Inuyasha, wait! I don't think..."

But the monk was too late. Inuyasha was already headed toward the well on a two day trek that could only end in misery.

Inuyasha made good time, barely taking time to drink from the rivers he passed, not taking any time to sleep at all. The journey that normally took two days of hard travelling on foot took Inuyasha a little over twenty-four hours.

Arriving at the clearing, Inuyasha bolted to the edge of the well and vaulted over, his hand grazing rice paper adorning its edge...

Inuyasha hit solid ground.

. . . . . . . . . .

Kagome stood at the edge of the well, caressing the wood she would no longer see from this side. Taking a deep breath, she began the chant that would help funnel her power toward sealing the well. It had to be done on both sides to be permanent. Both sides would protect each other, like two halves of a sphere around one time-portal.

Even as she spoke the enchantments Kagome's arms were shaking. Who would have thought leaving would be so hard?

Petting Kirara gently as she slept on her shoulder, Kagome finished her incantation and placed the rice-paper seals that would begin the process of closing the portal between times. A final whisper of holy words and the seals virtually disappeared, a faint shimmering the only indication that they were there. When the magic was done on both sides, the paper would reappear and even destroying it would not break the seal.

Kagome kissed Kirara on the forehead and walked softly toward the Goshinboku, placing her on one of the lower branches so that she could be safe while she slept.

Turning back toward the well, Kagome steeled her resolve. She could do this. She _had_ to do this. Inuyasha had made it perfectly clear by his actions that he would always be a child – and she needed an adult for a companion.

Kagome knew she would never see things from this side again, so she took a long look around before closing her eyes. Leaning shaky hands on the edge of the well, eyes still closed, Kagome took a deep breath and pitched forward in a free-fall to a new life.

No one was there to catch her.

. . . . . . . . . .

**To Be Continued...**

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_Please read and review!_

_~Sarga_


	3. Forgiveness

**Growing Up**

_By Sarga_

Written June to November 2008

Posted November 14, 2008

_Description: Naraku defeated, Kagome realizes that half-demon Inuyasha will always remain the boy she met, timelessly unageing. Kagome must choose between letting him go and staying by his side. Can he forgive her if she goes? Can she forgive herself if she stays?_

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**Chapter 3 – Forgiveness**

Veiled in white cloth, the bride stood tall as she walked down the isle. Flowers in hand, she took the trek at the arm of her mother, head held high. Today was the day she would marry the man she had come to love like no other!

Kagome stood at the head of the isle, her pale blue bridesmaid dress matching those of Yuka and Ayumi as they watched their friend Eri walk toward them. The sandy-haired English groom had his eyes intently fixed on the bride as she drew closer to joining him in a union to last a lifetime.

Blanking out the actual words of the holy man at the front of the church, Kagome tried to stifle the yawn that threatened to surface. Focusing her thoughts on anything other than the recitations going on in front of her – the source of her need to keep yawning – she thought of the past five years of her life since she had emerged from the well and sealed it behind her for good. In that time Kagome had taken over more and more of her grandfather's shrine duties, allowing the old man enough work to be and feel useful while keeping things up to par for visitors attending the shrine. She had gone to evening classes at a local community college to earn a diploma in financial record keeping but other than a part-time job at a local convenience store, she kept to herself. Her friends blamed her distance on her earlier illnesses, she blamed it on the need to keep herself distracted – if she thought about it at all.

Pulled out of her internal reflection, Kagome caught herself just in time not to appear shaken (smile for the camera). As the groom kissed the bride, the members of the audience stood and clapped, one of the younger men – a friend of the groom, another Englishman – whistled and hooted, drawing chuckles from the friends around him.

Following the other members of the bridal party back down the isle, Kagome stuck to Ayumi's side – her ride to the reception – and stayed out of the way as much as she could.

"That was such a beautiful service," sniffled Ayumi, drawing a tissue from her bra-line to dab at her eyes before returning it to its place.

"Yeah," Kagome didn't have to fake her smile, she was truly happy for her friend. Eri deserved to be cared for – they all did – and it really was a beautiful thing that had happened... so why was Kagome so disinterested?

"Ayumi!" a trendy woman called to the bridesmaid through the crowd.

"There's my sister. She must have the car out front. I'd drive but... open bar." Ayumi shrugged. At least she was being responsible before she got plastered

Shuffling patiently in the crowd toward the exit, the two women waited their turn to wink at and congratulate the new couple before they headed to the reception hall early for pictures.

Ayumi's sister was pleasant but rushed, her motherly duties to two young children stretching her thinner than she had perhaps hoped. Kissing her sister lightly on the cheek, she gently chided her not to get too rowdy, knowing full well her sister would probably be going home with her boyfriend of several months, Chiro Tanaka.

Heading into the hotel banquet hall, Kagome and Ayumi found they were not the first to arrive. Individual pictures of the bridesmaids and grooms-men had already commenced and Kagome sighed in dismay as she waited for her turn to be immortalized on film.

It was going to be a long evening...

. . . . . . . . . .

Kagome swirled her third glass of wine – this one almost as empty as her previous two – and sighed for the umpteenth time as she sat alone at her table near the head of the room. She watched the nearby dance floor filled with people who were writhing to the music, the free alcohol loosening everyone's inhibitions until they were all great friends, even those who had never met before.

"Hi."

The voice was unexpected and nearly made Kagome spill her wine with surprise. The owner was an unassuming young man in his twenties – a little younger than her but not by much – with average black hair and dark eyes. His voice was foreign and his face unknown to her.

"Hi," Kagome responded, not knowing who the person was but not wanting to be too impolite – it was a celebration after all.

"I've been told you don't know anyone around here – that I might do some good by introducing you around." The young man stuck out his hand and Kagome gingerly took it. Whoever he was, he was sorely mistaken, but it couldn't hurt to figure out why. "I'm Kohaku, and you must be Koharu?"

Kagome almost cringed at the name of the man in front of her, a sharp reminder of her friends long gone, and it took her a moment more to register the case of mistaken identity. Koharu was Eri's younger sister who had suddenly taken ill. She was from out of town and would have been here with the other bridesmaids if it hadn't been for that.

"I'm afraid you have the wrong person, Kohaku. I'm Kagome," she clarified with a smile and he blushed in slight embarrassment.

"Oh, I thought... You were here by yourself and she wasn't supposed to know anyone... and I saw you here alone..." Kohaku was tripping up over his words, obviously not comfortable with the change of scenario.

"It's okay, really. Koharu's sick, so I've been told, and couldn't make it. Guess you're stuck with me, ne?"

The young man seemed put at ease once more, Kagome's confident nature reassuring him.

"Would you like to dance, Kagome?" Kohaku asked suddenly, his ulterior motive laid on the line.

Kagome smiled sweetly, the effects of three full glasses of wine impacting her normally reserved self.

"Sure, Kohaku, I'd love to."

Following him out to the dance floor, Kagome began to sway with the music, her eyes closing of their own accord as she let her fuzzy thoughts flow out of her head to the rhythmic beat. She let herself go, forgetting about her partner, the other dancers, heck, even herself. The only thing in the world was the music.

Kagome panted lightly as she followed Kohaku back to the bar for a refresher after a half a dozen songs. They chatted amiably and she found out that he was in his second year at Tokyo University and was studying manufacturing design. He had secured a part-time job doing grunt work at a local company that produced small collectables like key-chains and cell-phone attachments – and wasn't that a coincidence? It was just down the road from where Kagome worked two days a week at a convenience store!

"Maybe we should get lunch together some time?" Kohaku suggested, his ease with Kagome much more visible now that they had spent the evening dancing and chatting away. "I know a nice diner that has quick service and great oden."

"That one with the waitress with the big hair? Ami... or Meiko... something like that?"

Kohaku nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm working on Wednesday. How about I meet you there at noon?" Kagome smiled herself, trying to get the alcohol-induced fuzzy feeling out of her brain.

"Great! It's a date!" Kohaku waved goodbye at a stunned Kagome as she registered that he thought... Oh no! This would be like Houjo all over again... Her happiness suddenly frozen, Kagome took a deep breath to calm herself. She knew it would happen eventually – she didn't want to end up an old woman all alone with a million cats, after all – but she had been hoping to move at her own pace.

Five years hadn't been long enough to cure her heartache. Even as she tried to make excuses a hidden piece of her soul hoped it would take an eternity.

. . . . . . . . . .

Three lunch-dates later Kagome agreed to let him cook dinner for her. There was 'no pressure' as he put it, his roommate would be home the entire time – yet Kagome still felt nervous. She didn't like him that way, and wasn't sure she ever would. There was something about him that was just... missing. It wasn't his fault, really, he had a lot to live up to – which was why she was standing outside his door, her hand held uncertainly, unsure whether or not to knock.

Their dates had been amiable, their chatter ranging from their favourite type of oden to where they went to high school. Kagome had been startled to find that he had graduated from her high school only two years earlier and that he had headed straight to university. She had assumed that, like her, he had spent some time out of school first.

It turned out that Kohaku was a whole seven years younger than Kagome and yet he thought she was his age. The realization startled her. It wasn't the first time someone had thought her to be younger than she was but it was getting too common to be just a complement on her youthful looks. Here she was twenty-seven and people mistook her for a twenty-year-old – she still got ID'ed at every bar she went to!

Even as the thoughts troubled her, Kagome pushed it to the side. She was here for good food and good company. That she was still a youthful and attractive woman was a _good_ thing!

Resolved, Kagome knocked on Kohaku's door, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves for her first date with him in private. He was a nice, responsible, quiet man, just like she needed – what did she have to complain about?

Kohaku greeted Kagome with a warm hug, pulling her into the apartment for the 'grand tour'. Past the coat rack and to the left was the kitchen, smells of pungent spices wafting plesantly from the closed lids of the pots on the stove. The table was set with a romantic-looking red rose, a pair of unlit red candles on either side waiting for attention. Past the kitchen was the living room, the empty sofa facing a modest television set, the glass coffee table strewn with several well-used text books.

"Over to your right are the bedrooms. My roommate is in his room right now, busy studying for exams."

"Oh, should I..." Kagome looked to the books on the table, remembering his own classes. "Should we reschedule? I wouldn't want to distract you."

Kohaku waved off her concerns with a smile. "No need, I finished my exams earlier this week, he's got a few different courses so his are a little later." Turning her attention back toward the entryway, he pointed out the bathroom.

"That's it! It's not much, but it does for what we need." Kohaku shrugged modestly. "Dinner's ready, I just left it on the stove to stay warm. Come, sit down."

Kohaku headed back to the kitchen and Kagome sat in the chair he dutifully held out for her. Sitting daintily, she watched watched as he smoothly brought over the pan and lifted out the fish fillet with a spatula, laying one on her plate, and the other on his own. Next was the rice, flecked with green and black – probably wild rice and seasoning – and finally a creamy sauce.

Sitting himself across from Kagome, Kohaku lit the candles with a small lighter and gave her a soft smile.

Kagome felt a nervous tingling in the base of her abdomen, but swallowed it down, forcing it back with a steely resolve. She would give him a chance, the chance she hadn't given Houjo because of Inuyasha... Kagome sent her own timid smile back and watched as his own grew wider, more confident.

"How was your week, Kagome?"

Kagome answered pleasantly, her words enthralling Kohaku despite their mundane topic. As the dinner wore on, Kagome felt the nervous tingling in her belly turn from mere nerves to outright unpleasantness and no matter how she tried to ignore it, it just kept getting stronger.

Behind her, Kagome heard the door to one of the bedrooms open and the sound of footsteps.

"Sorry for the interruption, man. I got a friend coming over."

Kagome was rigid with shock, her eyes wide as saucers as she heard the sound of a familiar voice she had thought lost to time. Nearly knocking the chair over in her sudden effort to see for herself if he really was who he sounded like, Kagome whirled around.

"Kagome, this is my roommate..." Kohaku was a little startled by her sudden and violent reaction, but he maintained a pleasant tone.

"Kouga?" Kagome's voice, barely a whisper, caught the man's attention immediately. Pivoting on his heel, he faced her with a penetrating gaze. Faster than she could see, she was pinned by the neck against the kitchen wall, clawing at his hand as it held her firmly in place, threatening to crush her under its firm grip.

"What are you...?" the man leaned in, his eyes narrowing dangerously as his lip curled up in a sneer. "...and how do you know my father?"

"Get your hands off of her, Kiro!" Kohaku fruitlessly tried to remove his tight grip from her neck. He did, however, succeed in giving her more air.

The tingling in her belly became a full-blown panic and Kagome barely held back a scream of frustration and fear. This 'Kiro' wasn't the man she had thought he was and she was about to pay with her life for the mistake. Moments of her life flashed before her eyes and she felt a deep regret for the time she had missed out on with Inuyasha. He had cared for her, in his own way, and she wished with all her might that she could have been strong enough to look past his childish behaviour...

With her eyes closed, the sound of a snarling growl convinced Kagome that she would soon meet her end. Instead, she found herself on the floor, coughing for air, her hand timidly laid on her own throat. Kohaku moved protectively between her and Kiro but not before Kagome saw a startling sight.

The Koga lookalike lay on his back on the floor and was being pummelled by a man with a long braid of black hair. Returning the attack furiously, Kiro fought back and managed to roll away and onto his feet. Both men crouched low to the ground waiting for the other to make a move. With a burst of speed, Kiro attacked Kagome's rescuer and they both ended up on the glass table, shattering it with their weight.

The pair rolled through the broken glass, both trying to get the upper hand while denying the other an opening. Finally Kagome's rescuer was on top again and she knew it was over, even as he continued to beat the living daylights out of her attacker.

"Kami, I think I need to sit down," Kagome murmured, not realizing that she was already, indeed, in a sitting position.

At the end of her sentence, a curious thing happened.

All motion stopped for a brief second and Kagome's rescuer turned wide eyes her way, both meeting in shocked recognition before he plummeted down on top of Kiro with the force of a powerful magic. Though his eyes were distinctly human, there was no mistaking the man behind the gaze.

Inuyasha.

Kagome stared wide-eyed in shock at the sight of a human Inuyasha laying prone on top of an unconscious Kiro (who looked so much like Koga). Kohaku didn't know what to do and just glanced between the two, knowing he was missing something big.

"Inu... yasha?" Kagome whispered, barely loud enough to be heard. As the half-demon raised his head, eyes filled with mute rage, Kagome knew without a doubt that he was her hanyou.

"I knew you wouldn't let me keep my fucking freedom, bitch!" Inuyasha spat, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Hey, watch what you call my girlfriend, you jerk!" Once again, Kohaku valiantly tried to defend his girlfriend but only ended up at the wrong end of a deadly glare.

"Your girlfriend, huh?" The human-looking Inuyasha stood slowly, tense muscles expecting to be dropped back to the floor any instant. Locking eyes with Kagome, he spoke to Kohaku. "Funny that, seeing as she's my _wife_!"

Kagome's brow furrowed in frustrated confusion – was he just trying to scare Kohaku off or had she forgotten something very important about her last weeks in the feudal era?

When Kagome didn't deny Inuyasha's claim Kohaku's mouth dropped open in disbelief. Not knowing what to say, Kagome only realized after the fact what effect her silence had.

"Get out, both of you. I... I need to clean up this mess you made."

"Kohaku... I'm not... we're..." Two sets of searing eyes stopped her mid-sentence and she stood on shaking legs. "I... I'll call you later," Kagome whispered, noticing that Kohaku's mouth had taken the form of a thin line.

Moving to the door, Kagome took her jacket off of the hook and exited into the hallway, acutely feeling Inuyasha's presence right behind her.

"Figures I'd see you with the fucking son of that dead dumb wolf," Inuyasha grumbled barely loud enough for her human hearing to catch. "What did you do? Tell him you would fuck him and then start in on his roommate? We demons don't like being lied to..."

"Would you stop it!" Kagome demanded harshly, her voice quivering as she barely held back her tears. "I only met him today. He tried to kill me when I thought he was Koga..." Kagome looked sharply at Inuyasha as they stood in the empty hallway, her anger resurfacing at the insults he had thrown at her. "And where do you get off calling me your wife? You ripped my heart out once, are you trying to keep it away from anyone else?" she hissed, stepping forward in anger.

Giving a dark snort, Inuyasha growled and stepped toward her as well, mere millimetres separating the former lovers. "That's rich, coming from a woman who mated me one day then abandoned me the next. I bet you had a great laugh with Hobo while you were fucking him, huh? 'Lead the hanyou on', 'let him think he had something he wanted' then take it away..."

Kagome's eyes narrowed to mere slits, her indignation knowing no bounds. "I only ever wanted you, jackass! I needed you to be a man and you went ahead and showed me just how much of a boy you were. I couldn't stay there and watch you wave me around like some sort of trophy!"

The fire in Kagome's belly was raging now, the need to vent her anger growing with every fiery pulse.

Kagome found herself pinned to the wall once more, this time by her lips, as the hanyou before her groped blindly at her. Pulling her to his body, Inuyasha entangled one hand in her hair, his other hand nearly bruising her with his voracity. Kagome responded in kind, the burning in her belly resonating wildly.

Breaking away from the kiss, Inuyasha leaned his head on to Kagome's. With his eyes closed, his entire posture – one of barely restrained need – was at odds with his whispered words.

"Stay the fuck out of my life, bitch."

Open-mouthed, Kagome barely registered as Inuyasha pushed away from her, leaving her to watch as he stalked off, realizing too late that something was out of place. The slam of Kohaku's door brought her attention to what had been so wrong...

Kohaku had seen everything.

Worse, Inuyasha had meant for Kohaku to see everything.

Worst of all, it had meant nothing to Inuyasha.

Kagome felt her heart drop into her stomach as she realized Inuyasha had put on a show to destroy any chance she had with the kind-hearted man. For the first time in her life, Kagome let herself do something she never dreamed she would do.

Kagome swore.

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To Be Continued...

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_Thanks to those of you who have reviewed:_

_slowfatbunny – Thanks for the encouragement. I guess this chapter answers some of your questions..._

_hareyu nami – Thanks!_

_Kasumi9-9 – I try to keep the characters in character, hopefully they stay that way for the whole story._

_And for the rest of you: Please read and review!_

_~Sarga_


	4. Moving On

**Growing Up**

_By Sarga_

Written June to November 2008

Posted November 22, 2008

_Description: Naraku defeated, Kagome realizes that half-demon Inuyasha will always remain the boy she met, timelessly unageing. Kagome must choose between letting him go and staying by his side. Can he forgive her if she goes? Can she forgive herself if she stays?_

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_**Chapter 4 – Moving On**

Kagome sat listlessly behind the cash register of her semi-weekly job, trying to wile away the hours by not thinking of anything. She was doubly failing.

Time crawled by as her mind kept revisiting the night not two weeks earlier. She had tried to call Kohaku via cell phone twice in the week after the incident but he just hung up on her altogether. Too bad he hadn't given her his apartment's phone number; now she couldn't even call Kiro to see if he knew anything about Inuyasha. Obviously Inuyasha had been there to visit the son of Koga, how else would he have just happened by at that exact moment?

Kagome had tried to find Inuyasha, spending hours searching for his name in the phone directory online. Not a single person with the given or family name Inuyasha could be found. It had been five hundred years for the half-demon (he wasn't quite as young as he had been), maybe he was going by another name.

Sighing as she glanced up at the clock (only three minutes had passed since the last time she had checked) Kagome switched tactics. Could she find Kiro in the phone book? She had his address and name – it was worth a try.

Coming alert at the sound of the door opening, Kagome sat up straighter as a patron entered the store. The customer didn't bother to glance at her as he headed down the second isle, and Kagome was at first too shocked to move before springing into motion.

"Kiro!"

Calling out the name of the demon, Kagome vaulted over the counter and dashed over the isle.

The man in question stopped dead before turning a wary gaze her way, dropping the ramen in his hands as his hackles rose. Kiro subtly shifted into a defensive stance that screamed that he was willing to take whatever Kagome dished out. She paused in her advance toward him.

"Miko."

Kiro's cold voice shed light on his change of demeanour from their last encounter. Inuyasha had apparently told him of her abilities.

Kagome blinked as she took in his defensive posture, backing up a step in the hopes of easing his distrust.

"Please, I'm not interested in harming you, Kiro. I was a friend of your father's..."

The wolf-demon snorted.

"Right, and we all know how loyal you are..." Kiro's sarcasm was not lost on the woman before him.

"Dammit! Whatever he's told you, he obviously didn't get it right!" That kept his attention. "Yes, we were lovers, but he was little more than a boy. A boy who used me – against your own father, I might add – as some sort of trophy fuck to prove he was the biggest, baddest 'big-bad' there ever was. I couldn't stay knowing I was just there to prove who had a bigger pair..."

"Bullshit!"

The voice from behind her startled Kagome and she gaped open-mouthed at the source of both her heartache and her joy.

"Inuyasha," the breathy whisper escaped from Kagome's lips and it was as if there was no time between then and now, as if she had not spent the last six years thinking of anything but the half-demon before her, as if it were still that morning in the forest before he had spoken a word.

"You always were a stupid human," Inuyasha's words drove a wedge five-hundred years wide between them. His eyes shone with malice, two weeks hadn't stopped him from blaming her, not even another five-hundred years could do that. "Leave the food, Kiro, I'm suddenly not hungry." Inuyasha spoke over Kagome's shoulder to the wolf demon and he turned to go. In three quick strides, she was at his side, her hand laid gently on his arm.

"I know you didn't mean to, Inuyasha," Kagome whispered, her eyes shining with remorse. "But that's how it happened. You made me feel like I was your world after I had given you everything there was to give, only to throw it back at me when you went to fight instead of staying with me." Her tears had escaped their confines, steadily trailing down her cheeks "I needed you to stay and you left me..."

Inuyasha's expression remained hard and unchanged, much like what little Kagome had seen from his half-brother. There was nothing left of the boy she used to love in this man. Kagome realized this with a resounding sadness in her hollow heart.

Kagome let her hand drop from Inuyasha's arm, her burning eyes never breaking from his, even as Kiro pushed past the pair and out of the shop.

"...I loved you," Kagome whispered, one last attempt to see a reaction – any reaction from the man who had been the boy she loved.

Eyes steely, expression unreadable, Inuyasha gave Kagome a reaction, albeit not the one she wanted.

"Bullshit."

Inuyasha's hoarse whisper was like a slap to the face.

Turning on his heel, Inuyasha left the girl to mourn the passing of any hope she had that he would come back to her, that he would be willing to see his younger self's actions as she had seen them. As he walked away from her, Kagome's heart heaved, denial no longer an option.

As Inuyasha walked away from her and out of her life for good, a part of Kagome Higurashi died.

. . . . . . . . . .

_Eight Years Later..._

At the age of thirty-four, Kagome Higurashi stood clad in the traditional garb of a miko while at the top of the shrine stairs, surveying her afternoon's work. The steps to the shrine were clear of debris once more, the dust and leaves that had collected there no longer an eyesore. Her grandfather would be proud of her work. With a nod of approval, Kagome continued the task that had been so studiously done by her grandfather before her. When he had died, she had taken up her duty with solemn pride, and she was not one to shirk her responsibilities.

Kagome heard the bustle of activity behind her and paused in her work, the sound of small footsteps making their way up the many steps of the shrine bringing a smile to her lips. The children...

Kagome turned around just in time to sweep up the two little girls as they bolted into her arms. Giving them a big squeeze, Kagome kissed them each on the cheek before turning her serious gaze to each of them in turn.

"I trust your father will tell me you were both well behaved?" Kagome prompted, their innocent looks confirming their angelic behaviour.

"Don't worry, sis, they were better than even you could have hoped." The thirty-year-old in question followed his daughters up the stairs and to his sister's warm embrace, his wife at his elbow smiling softly as she watched her two children play together near the shrine's sacred tree. "It's good to see you."

Kagome gave an uncharacteristic smirk, a small twinkle in her eye. "You won't be so happy in a few minutes..."

"Grandma!"

The girls had seen the older woman and abandoned their play-time, opting to rush headlong into what they knew would be a fun surprise.

Souta groaned as he saw his mother give the girls a messy, sugary confection, knowing full well that he had planned on surprising his mother so that she _wouldn't_ have had time to bake her granddaughters something that would keep them up until all hours of the night.

"Traitor," Sota ribbed, half-heartedly. "I'll see you inside," he smirked, knowing full well he should have offered to help her finish whatever task she had set to for the day.

Kagome licked out her tongue after her brother, feeling like a kid again, revelling in the giggles and squeals of her nieces as they played just by the front of the house.

Sighing contentedly, Kagome finished sweeping the grounds and made her way into the house and up to her room to change out of the traditional clothing. Rinsing her hands and face, Kagome's glance into the mirror became protracted, her youthful appearance more worrisome than any wrinkle or laugh-line could ever be. At the age of thirty-four, Kagome still looked like a twenty-year-old, and it was starting to seem as if she would be the same forever. Part of the reason she had never taken another lover was due to this oddity of the flesh. That she was still young meant she still had time to continue her life and start a family. The irony was not lost on Kagome. She had left Inuyasha to start a family but _because_ of Inuyasha, she couldn't.

Kagome hadn't seen Inuyasha for over eight years and yet she knew he was, at least in part, responsible for her agelessness. The other part of the responsibility fell solely on her shoulders.

During these years of self-imposed celibacy, Kagome had taken the time to get to know the shrine's holdings as she maintained its upkeep. Part of that had entailed reading the diary scrolls of priests and priestesses of the shrine's past and she had been lucky enough to find several older scrolls still intact. Protected in specially made and specially warded cherry-wood crates, several generation's worth of scrolls were at her disposal and they told her so much more than she had ever wanted to know.

Like how it was that Kagome Higurashi was immortal.

Apparently when Inuyasha and Kagome had been intimate, there had been an exchange of power. He had offered his protection to her in the form of his demonic energy, something that bolstered her own life span and rate of healing. Even now, so many years afterword, she was still reaping the benefits.

Which was the source of her current heartache.

The exchange of power was not something that could be maintained without will. Even now Inuyasha was somewhere out there, choosing to keep her alive longer than everyone else. It meant Kagome looked like she was still in her early twenties when she was actually thirty-four. It meant she could heal almost as fast as Inuyasha, as she had found out when she had broken a leg only to have it heal within a couple of days (the doctors had been astounded). It meant her brother, nieces and mother would all get old and die long before Kagome even got her first grey hair.

It meant Inuyasha still protected her.

That was the crux of the problem. If Inuyasha hated her so much, why was he willingly keeping her alive and young? Each possibility was more exhilarating and frightening than the last...

Also in her readings, Kagome had discovered that not only could he share his life's energy, but they could both detect each other through the very link that kept her life's energy bonded to his. If she meditated on it, she could feel him (and she had). If she focused hard, she could find his exact location relative to hers (she had done this as well). If she wanted to, she could even call out to him (although she was too afraid to try this one).

The thought terrified her.

Sighing, Kagome wiped away the imagined weariness from her face and set herself up to enjoy the company of her brother's family. This was a big house and it was always good to hear the sounds of children in the yard.

. . . . . . . . . .

Kagome stood in front of the large solid wooden door with apprehension that made her knees quake. Four times over the last month she had gotten the courage to come a little further and now she was at an impasse. This door was all that stood between her and Inuyasha. This door was all that kept her from seeing him and demanding he either take her back or let her go. She couldn't live forever – not without him.

Knowing it could be the last time she saw him was what kept her from moving forward. Knowing it might be the end of forever... it was almost as hard as leaving him the first time had been.

Kagome reached for the doorknob, telling herself that if it was locked, then it just wasn't meant to happen tonight.

The door opened freely.

Reaching out through the link once more, Kagome reassured herself that he was inside as she pushed the door open silently. Clicking it softly behind her, Kagome was startled to find the house appear to be empty. Not a single light was visible from the doorway of the foyer and she had to wait for her eyes to adjust to the ambient light before she could get her bearings.

Inuyasha was to the right, but there was a wall in the way. Gently trailing her hand along the wall beside her as she searched for a door, Kagome saw the beginnings of soft firelight flickering on the floor of the hallway just ahead. As she reached the doorway, she stood silently and watched as the source of her power – and her weakness – continued reading, oblivious of her.

Kagome felt her heart sink lower. Inuyasha wouldn't even acknowledge her. There was no way he couldn't hear her, the way her feet had echoed softly in the hallway. There was no way he couldn't smell her, the scent he had claimed to both detest and adore. Kagome prepared to do what she had never had the courage to do, to pull on their bond, in assertion of their connection. There was no way he couldn't see her – was Inuyasha wearing glasses?

Kagome tugged on their link.

With a start, Inuyasha swung his head to the right, his eyes first going wide, then narrowing in confusion as the book he had been reading fell to the floor unnoticed.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha whispered. None of the arrogance was there, none of that cocky bravado he always threw her way whenever he saw her except for...

"Your human night?" Kagome gasped, the realization setting in. Inuyasha shook his head in an attempt to get a hold on himself, his lack of denial confirmation in and of itself.

"What are you doing here, Kagome," Inuyasha sounded weary, as if this were a long conversation they had repeated over and over. Perhaps they both had, just not together.

"I want my life back," Kagome whispered. "Love me or let me go."

"What?" Inuyasha looked genuinely startled, as if he had been prepared for anything but what she was giving him.

"My life, Inuyasha. You've put my life on hold for thirteen years. I want it back."

Inuyasha looked sick, the realization that Kagome knew that he had kept her this way on purpose making him unsure of his response.

"If... if that's what you want."

Kagome frowned. Inuyasha wasn't putting up a fight, but he also didn't look happy about it.

"What I want..." Kagome breathed, suddenly as weary as he looked. A wan smile graced her lips as she stepped past Inuyasha's stony form and leaned down to pick up his book, closing it gently before laying on the chair he had been sitting in when she had entered. Leaning back on the arm of the chair she folded her arms across her chest and gave him an appraising look. "What do _you_ want, Inuyasha? That's something we never talked about when it could have made a difference. Why is it that you've kept me this way for so long when you know full well the effects it would have?"

Inuyasha looked panicked, eyes flitting back and forth before finally being trapped by her own. Like a deer in headlights, his eyes were wide and unblinking. Just like said deer, he knew his fate was inevitable.

"I..." Inuyasha blinked, a deep breath breaking the tension and deflating his will to fight. "At first, I wanted you to suffer, alone, like I had. I wanted you to feel all those years of loneliness just like me. I've had a few years to think about it though. Now, all I want is for you to be happy."

Kagome breath was sharp in response to him honestly being willing to admit what she had hoped and feared to hear.

"Then why? Why wouldn't you come to me? Why not tell me this? You knew where I was! You knew I needed you!" Kagome's heart was racing as tears threatened a torrential downpour. "Why couldn't you tell me that?"

Inuyasha's arms were around Kagome, softly pulling her into an embrace she had long since abandoned hope of ever being in again. He rocked her gently until her sobs died down and her own frantic grasp on his back was lessened.

"For five-hundred years I blamed you for hurting me, Kagome," Inuyasha whispered in her ear. "It took me a few more to see things differently. Honestly, I thought I was too late."

The soothing circles on her back became sensual and soon there were no words between them. On the floor in front of a gentle fire, as warm as on those many nights of their youth, the pair made love.

Falling asleep in each other's arms, they both knew it would be the last time.

They had finally forgiven each other.

They had finally said good-bye.

. . . . . . . . . .

Kagome awoke on the floor of the strange house in front of a cold propane fireplace. The small blanket covering her naked form slipped downward as she leaned back on one arm and looked around her.

Something was different.

Reaching out to find out where her lover could have gone, Kagome realized what it was that had changed. Just like she had asked, Inuyasha had given her her life back.

Inuyasha had broken their bond.

Kagome breathed deeply, the expectant grief a mere twinge compared to what it should have been. Truly, she had given up so long ago, the only thing there was to mourn was her pride – she had been unequivocally rejected.

Sighing, Kagome pulled her clothes on, folded the blanket and laid it neatly over the back of the chair with the book on it. With a half-hearted smile, she left the house and walked back the way she came. Her heart was lighter, but whether from emptiness or being unburdened, she was unsure.

Either way, her fate was finally her own.

. . . . . . . . . .

_Five years later..._

"Come on, Kagome, please?" The brown-haired Ayumi begged her friend, gripping her hand like it was a lifeline. "Tanaka won't even consider going out unless he can find a date for his friend and you're the only single one left!"

Kagome winced at the implication; she was turning into an old maid. At thirty-nine Kagome looked as good as any twenty-five-year-old – which was precisely why she was being roped into dating Tanaka's much younger business partner.

Sighing in defeat, Kagome nodded. "Fine, I'll come to dinner tonight." Kagome's friend squealed in delight. "But only tonight! I'm not going to make any promises beyond that until I meet him."

"How about you meet him now, then, and get it out of the way?"

Before she could protest, Ayumi had Kagome by the hand and was pulling her into her husband's den. What had initially been a plan to get together for lunch to chat was turning into one big set-up.

"Chiro?" Ayumi coaxed her husband into turning around. "Would you be able to introduce your friend?"

Chiro Tanaka glanced at Kagome with a grateful smile.

"Kagome, please meet Toga Takahashi, Toga, this is Kagome Higurashi."

Kagome's blues met startled violet as both jaws dropped.

'Toga. Inuyasha's father's name. Of course that's what he'd be using...' Kagome's thoughts were otherwise jumbled.

Inuyasha was the first to pull himself out of his stupor, extending his hand in greeting.

"Nice to meet you Higurashi-san. I'd be honoured if you would call me Inuyasha."

That comment earned a startled glance from Chiro.

"N-nice to meet you too, Inuyasha," the last word was whispered breathily. "Call me Kagome."

The formality out of the way, Chiro slapped Inuyasha on the should in a friendly gesture.

"Inuyasha here's quite the business man, Kagome. To be honest, I'm surprised he told you his nickname – he's usually not too keen on people knowing he's considered a demon in the business world," Chiro gave another appraising look to his younger partner, before grinning slyly and whispering softly into Kagome's ear. "Looks like he likes you, ne?"

Kagome smirked as Inuyasha's cheeks tinged with pink. A normal human wouldn't have heard Chiro's comment and she replied just loudly enough to make sure Inuyasha heard her without making it obvious to the two humans around them.

"I think I like him, too."

. . . . . . . . . .

**Fin**

. . . . . . . . . .

_Ah! Nothing like a fresh start in life! I hope you enjoyed it._

_Thanks to those of you who have reviewed, it's great to read your opinions, criticisms and praise!_

_Thanks for reading and, as always: Please Review!_

_~Sarga_


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